Too Blind to See It! - Comments

I don't know what else i can possibly say about this chapter that i haven't already been chirping to you all week. everything about it was so lovely. it was sexy but beautiful, hot but sensitive. it was perfect, and it showed so wonderfully all the passion and deep love these two have for each other. i loved it.

i love that hes so into her, so in love with her that he's having massive wet dreams about her (me) whatever. lol. but he loves her so much, respects her so much that he wont act on it.

until...

he realizes that she loves him just as much as he loves her. she isn't some china doll he needs to be afraid to touch, shes the girl of his dreams and she wants to give the most special gift she has to him.

Clearly I wasn't myself, but rather than explain I took one step inside the door and kissed her like the sun may not come up tomorrow.- *swoon*

Her hands pushed up my t-shirt and wandered my abs and my chest until they tugged the shirt completely off.-- yum. *sigh* if only that were real life

I stood up again and pulled the band from her hair, letting her golden locks fall around her shoulders.-- such a guy thing to do lol

t wasn't until we were in the moment, so engulfed in each other that nothing else mattered, that I realized, this is how it should be, intense, passionate, explosive. In the midst of it all, the fire and the excitement, one emotion got the best of me. One feeling over powered the lust and the desire. LOVE. I couldn't have loved the woman below me more. She was my be all and end all, my start and my beginning.-- this might be one of my favorite lines from the story. i love how hes coming to terms with the fact that hes in love with her every way possible.

her experiences are so realistic. its not perfect the first time, and it definitely hurts...but knowing he loves her, is willing to take good care of her and is overly excited by being inside her is an amazing feeling. it almost makes the pain subside. almost. lol.

them having sex has put them on a different level obviously. he's more in love with her than he thought possible, and she is crazy in love with him (which he must know since she gave herself to him). i love it, its so heartwarming.

Suddenly everything in my life from the Olympics to my former relationship meant nothing, as I realized my whole world was tied up in the woman in my arms. It wasn’t the sex exactly, it was the gift. It wasn’t the heat or the passion, it was the love. It wasn’t the build-up, it was the ending.-- okay this might be my favorite line. (i just cant decide) i just love it. i've said it a millino times but his conclusions that hes ruined for all other women is delicious. it just makes my heart swell lol

i loved it phoebe, but you already knew that. thanks for taking my idea (kinda) :)
and you know i dont want it to end. at all. i'm willing for a sequel (and you kno what i wanna see them do...and where--LOL) love you (mucho!)

Okay, I have to start this off by saying: anyone who has gripes about how the smut was written is most likely a virgin themself and has these fantastical ideas about what their first time is going to be like. Please girls, before you jump into the deed, do some research on the 'net or write into Cosmo for some advice so that you know what to expect and you're not left disappointed that you didn't have one of those 'bells ringing, angels singing, swing from the chandeliars' orgasms that you've all obviously got your hearts set on. First time sex hurts. In fact, the first couple of times do until you're used to it and (excuse the 'dirty' talk) stretched enough where it's no longer painfully uncomfortable. And the majority of women (virgin or legit 'pro') don't even have an orgasm during intercourse without some kind of other help. Sorry if that bursts your bubble, but you really need to get with reality so you're not left feeling extremely disappointed and jaded your first time around.

That being said, I am so glad that Zach and Jenna finally shit and got off the pot. I'm glad that she was able to let herself go and trust him with her body and her soul and I'm glad to see that he was able to stay so damn patient. Thank God for fan fiction. Guys like Zach Parise wouldn't hold out. Sorry. Sad but true. There's too many women willing ready and able to satisfy him and it's naive to think he's so perfect in real life. I love Zach as much as anyone, but I prefer my men 'real'. With faults and nuances and doing stupid ass shit like ALL guys.

The smut was extremely well written. Not too much, not too little. Perfect in between. I think she personally got the better end of the stick when it comes to first time experiences. At least she got off through oral. Most guys would be so turned on by the thought of sex with a virgin that they wouldn't waste time with the premilinary stuff.

I wouldn't mind a couple chapters to tie up all the loose ends in the future. Just to know what happened to them down the road.

this one deffinatly one of your best chapter!<3
so much love and passion, it was perfect for them. the whole thing played out like a scene from a movie for me, just amazing!

the chapter was great =)
I'd be happy with you ending it with the next chapter or doing a sequel. This story is super super amazing and you've done an awesome job writing it!

AMAZINGGG!!!!!!

loved the chapter
though it didn't really seem as though Jenna got much from it lol
It seems Zack was the only one to finish and she just got the pain of it
but love the story and update soon :)

P.S- I really liked the spur of the moment way it began. it wouldn't of been as big of an impact probably if he made it all super planned out and what not

I loved this. It was amazingly done. I liked how at first it was a dream and then he goes next door and they ended up doing what they've both been wanting to do for awhile. I thought this was incredibly tasteful and well written. I absolutely loved how Zach wasn't ever taking her virginity lightly, that it really had to be the right time for the both of them.

I would so love a sequel!!!

Keep up the fabulous work.

I think that it's a great story as is...No need for a sequel. Sometimes sequels can just be repetitive and not as good as the original..

I think it was fantastically done !
The build was cool, to see that he was nervous, if not more than she.
SEQUEL !

Just read this for the first. I'm totally loving it to XD.
Cant wait for the next chapter

I thought that was a great chapter! I think if you need to take a break take it and don't force yourself to keep it going. Come back to it when you can and if you want to do a sequel great if you don't then you can end it. You will know when the right time is to end it and it will come to you.

Fantastic! That was such a great chapter!
I always love sequels! And I want them to get married and have babies! lol

This story is my absolute favorite. No joke. Pleaseeee update soon! (:

OKay, Kayne unblocked me from trying to go to beyonces "greatest website of all time", how nice of him.

First, i love how jealous he is when he demands to know who aiden is. he deserves to feel that way and quite frankly i would have been annoyed a little when he started laughing lol.

I need a real man Zach," I teased and rubbed my hands over his chest, fluttering my eyes at him. "But the Penguins were in town, and that Sidney Crosby isn't bad on the eyes."-- ah, you know me too well. i love it.

-"Not funny Jenna." He led me to the couch. "No soccer players, no Sidney Crosby. I'll give you whatever you want." He pulled me down on his lap. "Whatever you need. I'm not going to do anything like that again. I'm not going to almost lose you."-- haha, love your response zach, jealous and protective. thats my boy!

"The way I treated you when I got home from Vancouver…Well I never wanted to be that guy. Not with you Jenna. You mean so much more to me than that, and I need you to know how sorry I am."-- you better be sorry.....and you are, so i forgive you lover boy :)

I think i agree- i do think it would quite incredible to have sex with zach parise. especially if he were this wonderful and most importantly, completely in love with me.

Then suddenly Zach looked hurt misunderstanding what I'd said. "So you don't think there's a forever for us? Is that why you said no?"-- so cute. he wants a forever with me. we'll make it work!

I stood up quickly, "Never mind. I don't know what I was thinking. It's not like you could understand this. To you it's hot virgin sex to me it's Jenna. You can't possibly get it.-- i better mean more to you than that by now my love! so cute :)

"Why…why did he say no Jenna? Did you say you wanted to fuck instead of 'make love'? Men are so damn sensitive."- haha, shes such a smart ass.

I love it! i love how cute they are together, i love that they made up and i love that they're finally starting to talk about what they each want. i love that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and that he's willing to make sure he doesnt ever lose her again..this isn't just some relationship its THE relationship thats gonna be his life forever.

what i dont want to see is jenna running around in lingerie trying to bed zach...she's so much more than that. i think it should happen naturally (like travis said) and it should be in a moment where they both know that this is their forever.

i love it. i love them. i want more. (oh, and i love you) =)

Update please!!! lol I can't wait to read more!

Loved the update!
I'm glad Zach stopped things before they could go too far!
And I'm glad that he wants to make it so special for her!
Can't wait for the next one! :)

Poor Zach, what a mood killer. I'm guessing Jenna doesn't know enough about men to know that when you scare them shitless...they can't exactly perform.

Zach is so Minnesotan it hurts sometimes (I would know), but I think Mr. Parise needs to introduce Jenna to some smut.

I do like the concept for this story, but I'm imagining it's a challenge to write? Seems to be a bit different from the type of thing you usually write. My advisor would say that's good, though. Expanding the horizons is to expand the mind.

Honestly I'm just waiting for them to friggin do it already!!!
I swear it feel like it's been dragging on for years!
Not the story of course. I mean them two waiting and waiting and freakin waiting
it's starting to get annoying now at how long they're waiting and what not...
But anyways love love love the story
so please please PLEASE! Update soon!
I really am just waiting for the 'big event' to FINALLY happen
so update ASAP please!

If these two put as much damn effort and thought into actual intimacy instead of tiring themselves out by talking about it constantly, they would have found the perfect moment by now. The more you yap about it, the more a moment is ruined. That's exactly why it hasn't happened yet. Just when things starts really relaxing and flowing nicely between these two, someone has to open their mouth and start over analyzing sh*t. You're not supposed to think. You're supposed to just feel! And if they put as much of an effort into prohecting these feelings onto each other and connecting physically (I said physically prudish people, not necessarily sexually) and emotionally instead of thinking so damn much, moments wouldn't get ruined. It's not about an expensive hotel room or candles or flowers or champagne. It's about what the people are feeling, not what is surrounding them. And when they both realize that, they'll be able to relax more and their brains will shut off and they'll respond to each other to the point where all that matters is making each other feel good. They're both to blame for this constant merry go round. All that talking would make anyone go frigid. I'm just saying....

Now that my rant is over..

I really enjoyed the Zach/Travis talk and the Pheebs/Jenna talk. I thought that Trav was a perfect mixture of humour and wisdom and that as usual, Pheebs provides the best (if not perverted) advice on the planet.

And I was just thinking: if the 'fairy tale' aspect of all this doesn't live up to her expectations (and really, who puts that kind of pressure on someone?) that she's build inside of her head, her first time isn't going to be adequate by her standards. And I hope that she realizes that just like Pheebs said, this first time isn't that great to begin with. It hurts. You bleed. It's awkward as hell. I just hope that Zach can live up these mighty expectations that both himself and Jenna have placed on him.

Looking forward to more!

ahhhhhhh FINALLY!!!
i absolutly LOVE this story, i just cant get enough. so update ASAP pleaseeeee
personally i think they should make the first time special and then another chapter they can just go crazy, kinky, phoebe stlye. that would be greatt