Take It With Me - Comments

Chapter 2 :DDDD

He needed a drink. His heart was still pounding hard, and his mind spun. He didn’t think Kitty was lying. She had nothing to gain by it, and that little black phone thing spoke louder than any words. But how could she be telling the truth? How could she have come back from 2010? Hell, he couldn’t even wrap his mind around the idea of 2010. It was just too far away.

Best believe it, Tom. She has proof she's from the future :D
..I seriously love the way you detail and write. It's so... Amazing and vivid and grand and jaw-dropping. I feel like Tom Waits... My mind is spinning with the greatness of your writing D:

He could hear his mother in his mind, telling him to be a gentleman and take her in; take care of her until they figured out what they were going to do. He knew he should listen to that voice inside his head.

Mothers know best, Tom.. LISTEN TO YOUR MOM ;D

After a few minutes, his mama’s voice came out victorious, as he knew it would.

WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I lovelove how you used the term mama. It really fits the whole going back in the old day era you're going for. Seriously- you're good <3

“Five brothers and one sister? Your parents have seven kids? Wow…” he sputtered, laughing awkwardly. Kitty cut her eyes over at him.

“My parents are Catholic. No birth control allowed.”

I started laughing at this part. Tom is sure surprised XD

ASLKDJASLK. I'm starting to get addicted to your story :D

..I'm a new reader and I'm only Chapter 1 - Actually, I finished chapter 1, moving onto Chapter 2..

Smoke drifted out from the back door of a club, a cloud of choking substance accented by the smell of whiskey and bourbon. Shrouded in this cloud of smoke was a man, tall and lean, with broad shoulders and a strong jaw. He was holding a cigarette between his fingers, sucking on it like it was the only thing keeping him alive. His suit hung on him loosely, his tie barely knotted. All in all, he gave off the appearance of some kind of bum. Which he wasn’t.

I love how you open the story that way and describe everything so well, yet it's still easily understood and easily imagined. Mann.. You're sooooo good! <3 The bolded is my favorite :)

When he opened his eyes again, he caught a glimpse of movement and heard a mingling of male voices in the alley a few feet from him.

They stole her wallet, didn't they!? ..Bastards D:

“You’re… um… Waits. Something Waits. I… I’ve seen your videos. My dad really liked you.” Hehe, Tom must have felt pretty old :P

“My cell phone. You don’t have these yet. They don’t get invented until the 90’s,” she beamed, handing him the device. He inspected it carefully.

U.S.S Enterprise moment (Sorry, SPN moment there ._.)

His heart sputtered a few good times and the feeling went out of his toes. She was telling the truth. Or at least, they had pretty good props in mental homes.

Tom is might stubborn :P

..I love it.. I'm going to continue.

Wow, Katie.
It was great to have a bit of an insight into Kitty's life.
It's strange how simple it all was then she gets plunged into the murky and smokey past of Tom Waits. (Lucky girl )
If I were in her position, I'd feel the exact same way as her.
Oh and I completely adore the bit where you described how she wanted to be at home and then you said:
And if she couldn’t have any of that, all she wanted was Tom.
It's so realistic and sweet. I'd want Tom too.
But yea, I can't wait to find out what happens with her employer.
Update soon, my dear.

Okay, I didn't want to keep you waiting on your comment so I read the first chapter only but wow. I love how you describe your characters, I love the way you write in general. Plus, the storyline sounds amazing and I honestly cannot wait to read more :)

It may have been purely coincidental, but I thought it was rather nice.
I loved how both of them had a kind of negative attitude to their birthday.
Well, Kitty couldn't exactly help it, she was alone. Poor girl.
But Tom completely missed his.
I love how he is missing her. Silly man shouldn't have left in the first place.

Still, you have this knack for creating realistic characters in what they say and do. It helps us readers picture things so clearly in our minds. You're amazing, Katie.
Update soon, lovely.

That would be rather depressing to forget one's own birthday o_O

From the story comment swap game.
I decided to read Chapter 6.

Layout: It's simple and easily readable, that's good. The banner image is nice. Good font for the story title too.

Summary: Short and intriguing. It's definitely gotten me interested in the story.

Story:

It was short and sweet and very likeable.
The dialogue came off very realistic to me and I really like the easygoing nature of Tom in this.
It's certainly very interesting and makes the reader want to read more (which I would if I weren't slightly braindead right now).
It's also very different from the types of things you usually see on this site which is very refreshing.

I didn't see any grammatical errors so that's a good thing.

Great job.

I read chapter 5 and it automatically made me want to carry on reading the story from the start.
Your descriptions are flawless and even though the chapter was short, the flow of writing was beautiful and very vivid.

I loved this.

Oh my sweet Tom Waits.
I love how he misses her just about as much as she misses him. However, with him, there's more guilt. It's great how you arent just focusing on one character's feelings. It shows it from both sides.
I seriously want to grab Kitty and give her a big hug. I feel so sorry for her.
AND IT'S HER FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY? Not just her birthday but her 21st.
Poor gal. I do love, though, how she tried to put it all behind her by singing in the shower.
Well, singing in the shower does have it's healing powers.

I haven't been getting updates in my email, but I've been missing the story. I just read everything I missed in one go. =D It's going well. Can't wait for more.

21?

DRINKS ALL AROUND!!

I only read chapter four, but I can say this story has all the potential in the world, and I don't say that very often. I loved how you described this woman. I really, really like this:

"Her skin was dark, like someone dumped half a cup of coffee into a glass of milk. She wasn’t a big girl, but she definitely had more meat on her bones then a lot of girls he had seen. She had Monroe curves." — This made me happy because, to me it sounded like you were talking about a black woman and even if not, it still made me smile.

Right-o, I am all caught up! Things are really picking up now and I'm loving it. :)

This part made me giggle so hard:

"Oh, yeah. The horizontal tango. I know it well," Tom grinned, waving the bartender back over. Kitty narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, what a wonderful subject for mixed company," she murmered, rolling a piece of ice around in her mouth.

"Well, you see, the horizontal tango is a dance most commonly performed in mixed company, so I consider it a perfectly fine subject for conversation," Tom said, enjoying seeing Kitty squirm.

"Oh, haha. You're so funny."

"I know it," Tom beamed. "You want to dance?"

Kitty's face went white.

"Uh, not the tango, kid. Just dance. On a dance floor?" Tom guffawed, watching her turn from white to red. "Come on."

And then the fact that they actually ended up doing the 'horizontal tango' just really amused me. xD I also loved the part where you described Tom 'making out' with the microphone.

Anyhoo. I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU.

HOLY CRUD, when did the story reach Chapter 27?! I'm so out of the loop! *runs around like a headless chicken* I am off to catch up now!

Because he didn't do enough! He was supposed to stay with her, damn it!

RAWR. Where the hell are my shoes when I need them?? >_<

Aww, I LOVE this story! Its adorable and I really can't wait to read more. Please update soon.

Okay, I've just read the third chapter
Dude, seriously. This is brilliant.
I love the way you write, it's so...unique and epic like.
It makes me want to hump you.
I believe I'm going to go read the rest of this story in one sitting. XD

I feel so sorry for Kitty.
I hate how Tom just left her, makes me wanna slap him.
Katie, your descriptions though. YUM!
I could eat them, they are that delicious.
Where did you get that talent?

Tom will come back?
Or at least get in contact with her.
I mean come on, the poor girl is falling to pieces.
I LOVE THIS!
UPDATE!

I only read the first chapter, but I really like it so far. Your descriptions are excellent and I really like the whole time-travel aspect. I thought it was funny when Tom was asking how the cell phone worked, like he was afraid of it or something. And I definitely got chills at the end when Kitty proved that she really was from the future--a testament to your writing skills, I suppose. I'm going to subscribe and continue reading when I have more time.

So I read the first chapter and your descriptions are incredable.
I'm not a big fan of this type of story, though I The Time Traveler's Wife is my all time favorite book.
I like the way you set up your characters and I'm a bit intreuged on how Kitty got there and I wonder if you're going to adress that later in the story.
I hope that you focuss more in your story on the characters and their relationship then on the whole time travel thing because I like your characters a lot.