Take It With Me - Comments

When I saw this story I pretty much let a chuckle of delight, it never occurred to me to write a Tom Waits fic and it made me very happy that you had.
Thank heavens someone else knows Tom Waits! I love that man :) Great work lovely!

Haha I love you too. I like this story it's different.

Have I told you lately, that I loveyou this story.
Update soon?

Story Review Game.

Layout: This is just a personal thing for me, but I would say make the banner a little smaller. Only because it's so big, it's kinda like BAM! If you know what I mean, but it's a really nice banner that's for sure.

Title: I like the title of the story, it makes me wonder what the person is taking.

Summary: The summary is very interesting it strikes my interest because of the huge gap of time between them. Love it!

Chapter 1: Since I don't know who Tom Waits is, I'll just read this as like an original.

I love the description in the first couple of lines, it's very good. The image is in my mind and I can see it perfectly. However, the first paragraph is really, really long and like a huge block, maybe cut it in half somehow.

Maybe where you start by saying "New Orleans had been..." you can start a new paragraph. You can probably have it broken up it too three paragraphs possibly, but that's up to you.

Just a sugguestion to make it easier on the reader, because of the small font and color and the big paragraph I got lost a few times.

Laying on the dirty cobblestone was a girl, blood on her blouse and her head, matting her thick dark hair. - Great descrpition, I can see her laying in some dirty alleyway all beaten up.

and she looked wildly around her. - This line doesn't sound right to me, maybe you should re-write like "and she looked around wildly."

Very interesting, a time travel kind of story. Reminds me of The Time Travelers Wife, I'm really liking this it's pretty interesting and your writing is awesome. I haven't found any grammar mistakes so far either.

I like how you had the phone described and how Tom was all confused with it and thinking she's crazy. It's kind of humorous in a serious way, which you pulled off wonderfully.

This story is really good and I really like it. I'll possibly keep reading into further chapters.

You're a great writer and I hope this review is helpful to you.

-Angie

Seriously, woman.
This story is exactly what I need just now.
I love how Kitty is kinda beginning to like Tom.
Maybe they will get together?
I dont know but I'm sure that whatever you decide to write will be amazing.
Update soon, my love.

Oh god.
Typical man. Just leaves her there because he can't resist the thought of getting jiggy with the girl.
I love how you don't make your chapters too long.
They are just the right length and always leave you wanting more.
I eagerly await the next amazing chapter.

Oh how I have missed you!
Those updates were amazing.
I can not wait for more!

Aww, that little note on Midtown made me smile and chuckle at the same time.
You are simply amazing, my friend.
The way you write Tom is incredible.
I love how she completely freaked out and he just calmed her down instantly.
I WANT TO WAKE UP NEXT TO TOM AND HAVE MATCHING BOXERS! ::twich:
This is my favourite story. It's just amazing.
I feel like I'm sitting in the hotel room or alley way or wherever with them. It just takes you away.
I can not wait 'til you get back so I can read more,

I officially love you.
Seriously, I can't get enough of this story.
To be honest, this story has amplified my crush on Tom. I blame you.
Seriously though, this story is probably one of the best that I have ever read on Mibba.
I'm gonna read it all over again, simply because I can't get enough of it.
Thank you for writing this, and PLEASE update soon.

Okay, I know I didn't comment last time because as you know, I read the first two chapters at some ungodly hour of the morning, but it's afternoon now and therefore I feel that I am sane enough to comment. :)

Anyhoo. I'm really excited to see where this story is going to go. Your writing style is fantastic, and I love the way you portray Tom; I know I haven't known of his existence for very long, but just from listening to his music, that's how I imagine him to be. Y'know, unbelievably cool and kind of gruff on the outside but a big softy on the inside? xD

“Oh, wow. 60. Never thought I’d make it to 60 at this rate. Hey, am I still a badass mother-“

“I’m sure you are. Don’t use that word around me,” Kitty snapped. Tom held up his hands.

That part made me giggle.

I eagerly await (SEE WHAT I DID THERE. Await...a-Wait...okay, nevermind) the next update.

Thought I'd leave a small comment for the second chapter.
I loved it.
The way you write Tom is exactly the way I'd expect him to be if I ever met him.
It's pretty amazing.
Can't wait for the next wonderful chapter.

Wow.
I mean seriously, wow.
You have an amazing writing talent.
I felt like I was actually sitting in that alleyway with them.
You have the ability to make your readers feel what the characters are feeling, which is a rare thing.
Usually, I'm not one for reading stories about people falling through time, but this is too hard to resist. The story draws you in and makes you want to read more.
And, well, you already know of my love for Mr Waits. ;)
So well done, I shall be subscribing and reading like a maniac.