Many a Moon - Comments

This is great! You are great with words, and don't forget it. Another thing? Your banner is FRICKIN' AWESOME! How do you get one?

I always love a bad ass heroine type character. They beat the damsel anytime.

I enjoyed it and thought it was a good way to open the story. All of these things you have created, like the Slayers aren't what I originally thought that they were and so now I want to know more about them.

I also like Jeremy, he is that light character that stories need.

Overall I enjoyed it and I am impressed by your attention to detail. The fight type scene wasn't overly detailed and was made interesting.

If it wasn’t such a threat to mankind, I might actually think it beautiful. Just a line that I really liked, it added something to her character, showed that she sort of sympathized with the creature.

You have such a great way with words - you must know this already, but I have to tell you that over and over. The way you come up with all these mythical creatures too, it amazes me. I can't get over that, and the names of them! I could never do that. Kudos to you and your mythical mind, love.

You opened up the story with some great action - no, not that, you perv (; - and that's always a good way to pull someone in. Hell, you had straight from the beginning, it all just started out so good and I couldn't stop reading it. I'm in the middle now, writing the comment as I go along so I won't miss any detail.

There was an ocean nearby. A plan already forming in my head. All I had to do was make it there. I think you may want to combine the first two sentences or put the word "was" after plan.

At this point I'm sort of wondering exactly what a Lycan is - it sounds like a werewolf or a cat or something. I know it's a bad creature though, you've made that clear! Also, how can the character telling the story talk to Jeremy? Is it like in Twilight - so sorry for the comparison - where Jacob can talk to his pack in his head? That would make sense. I actually am wondering if this woman is really a woman...or something else.

Ah, okay, so she's a slayer! She kills things. Right, right, I remember from the beginning now. “It’s distracted! Get down there!” Jeremy’s voice rang through the speaker capped on my molar. Okay, so she's talking to him through her mouth, literally. Good details!

Jeremy could heal me much quicker than it would take for my body to heal itself, but it would not feel pleasant, but he never gave me a chance to react. You don't need the word "but" before it would not feel pleasant.

I really do think you've got an amazing start here, don't ever get rid of it. I'm being completely honest. I loved it and I'm going to come back around to see how it progresses!