Fear Itself - Comments

This is quite intriguing. I like it. :D

I am impressed by this story. A rare find. This story is making me so curious on what will happen next that its making me crazy! Hope you update this as fast as possible.

Wow, this is phenomenal. Honestly one of the most creative and promising things I've seen on here. I love the dystopian theme, and the way it's set up is really great. I loved the news report, and the way information is given in the story. It seems like a published novel, fantastic work! :)

I'm interested as to, where this story will lead. :)

Awesome job, with everything.! :D

Keep it up.

Hahaha, thanks, Luke! Working on the edits as we speak! : D

I don't have any comments on Part 3. It's cute. haha

Hey.

I have a couple things to say about this one.

The small one, "... noon in the morning." in the 3rd body doesn't strike me as correct. Saying "noon today," or picking another time, like maybe 11 o'clock or something, assuming there might be a bunch of speeches during the induction ceremony.

Now the bigger thing, and I hope you don't mind mine being critical... If this is a news broadcast, I wouldn't put so much information into each description of member of the board. Naming off each member as Head of So-and-So works, but there's a bit too much info being given out in a news broadcast. Giving small tidbits of information, like something they've contributed to society recently, or something a parent contributed recently. Saying how Nathaniel Giroux is a controversial member would work, and a little bit about why. But if you'd like to describe each of the members' family roots, as a suggestion, maybe have it where the crew is watching the news at their base before the events of Part 1 that I commented on, and then maybe a member of the rebellion is the one who knows all the roots and history of the different families and such.

That's all... Oh, this is Lucas, in case you didn't know. ^~^;

Hey.

I like it. It's descriptive and action filled. Only things I have to say is that there's a couple misspellings of words (body part 7, you say "singing" instead of "singeing" and "exist" instead of "exit" in body part 14). Also, I'm curious as to how they get to this point, unless you're just typing up random parts of the story that come to you.

Otherwise, I like it.