November 9th, 2013 at 07:03am
When Night Breaks - Comments
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This is an awesome story so far, can't wait for an update. You are so unique with your descriptive words and the way that you build characters. I think you are doing an awesome job with Jay. Thinkin' you just might need a serious plot twister (other than the one in the current chapter) It has to be something good that would really shake their relationship :D Seriously though, don't listen to me I am sure you are going to do fine with whatever you write and will defiantly be unexpected (at least to me) Update :November 9th, 2013 at 06:43am
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@ Artist Vs. Poet
Oh no problem! I love the plot so far and can't wait to read some more!October 21st, 2013 at 02:28am -
@ Writer in the Rye
Thank you so much for your kind words! :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!October 21st, 2013 at 02:25am -
You are such a fantastic writer, just getting that out there :) I'm almost half way through your story, I started reading it as soon as you commented :) My favorite line so far has to be "He placed the candle around the blanket, and took a seat beside me. As weird as we probably looked, it seemed more comfortable." You probably weren't even trying to make this line sentimental or anything, but I think it can sum up Jay and Samantha's relationship on so many differrent levels. I was so suprised he didn't com out all defensive when he told her, and he's like "yeah it's cool if you don't believe me, I surely wouldn't" it gives him a lot of character. I cannot wait to see where you take this, it's such an original idea and I know you didn't ask for it but I'm recommending this because 1) You have no choice ^_^ and 2) Everyone needs to read this :) God bless!!!
xoxoxoOctober 21st, 2013 at 02:19am -
@ Avalynn
Thank you very much for the comment and taking the time to read this :)October 7th, 2013 at 12:45pm -
The prologue really drew me in. The way you had Samantha describe Jay left me with a lot of questions and interested to keep reading and find out the answers.
I can defiantly relate to that eerie feeling of being watched while walking down the street at night. I used to live in a small town and sometimes I’d sneak out at ridiculous hours (it was urgent, I wasn’t just being a mischievous teenager, I swear) of the night and I would walk about 4.5 km, half an hour of which would be through total darkness because being in a small town, a lot of the roads didn’t have street lights.
Its super annoying in horror movies/stories when characters are dumb and go after something scary but I like how you had Samantha acknowledge the fact that she typically isn’t one of those girls. I guess it’s just that force between Samantha and Jay which you described.
I like how Jay wasn’t just there for no reason, I mean he was just coincidently in the same place as Samantha but you gave him a reason for being there by making him protect Samantha from that man.
I’m seriously interested in what Jay actually is though. Because of his speed and the way you described his eyes I’m guessing vampire? I’ll soon find out though I guess.
Overall I really like this. It’s interesting and everything I’ve read so far has left me wanting to know more. I’ve recommended.October 7th, 2013 at 08:40am -
@ BaconTommyVicious
Thank you very much! I appreciate the kind words! :)October 5th, 2013 at 06:46pm -
This is very interesting, I've only read to about chapter 6, but I feel like I am already hooked. The characters are well written, and I love the way the story is so mysterious. Not everything is told upfront, so it lets us discover it while we read. I only saw a few minor grammar and spelling errors, so no worry on that.
The layout is also very nice, and I find it goes very well with the story. And it's not a layout where the story is very hard to read.
Keep up the great work, and I will be sure to keep reading! :DOctober 5th, 2013 at 02:12pm -
Thanks I will look for it!!!October 4th, 2013 at 03:16am
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@ MissyPrissy
Thank you so much! Update coming probably Saturday! :)October 3rd, 2013 at 06:17pm -
I hope you update soon I really look forward to it!!!October 3rd, 2013 at 04:17am
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@ Artist Vs. Poet
Well you're welcome:)September 29th, 2013 at 06:53pm -
@ Skarsgard of Sweden
Thank you so much :)September 29th, 2013 at 06:52pm -
I always enjoy your updates. It's an amazing story:)September 29th, 2013 at 05:25pm
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@ TypicallySadistic
Thank you for the feedback! Appreciate you reading itSeptember 11th, 2013 at 05:22pm -
The supernatural and natural blend together so well in this story, and it surprised me. I have read a lot of work where it is one or the other, and our world even when it's supposed to be set here gets drowned out by the story.
Otherwise, a good read. A few small errors but nothing so bad I can remember them now. You have a talent, and this shows it.September 11th, 2013 at 05:53am -
@ matches in water;
Awh thank you so much! I appriciate it a lot! :)August 9th, 2013 at 12:44am -
Spent around half an hour to almost an hour reading this. It was beautiful :) I got sad at the last chapter :'D because you haven't updated once again so I could finish reading!
The Supernatural part about this story is what just made is so unique. The characters folded correctly together and the dialogue was absolutely phenominal!
I look forward to reading the rest of this, and Sam and Jay are great characters.
You did a wonderful job and your writing style is marvelous. Congratulations :)August 9th, 2013 at 12:04am -
@ Artist Vs. Poet
That's what I'm here for:)August 8th, 2013 at 04:31am
Thank you so much! I'm glad to have you as a reader! Lots of plot twists coming up :D Don't want to give anything away but it's gonna shake things up! Thanks again for reading and commenting!