We Are So Screwed

Blake: GenoGenoThatIsMyName and

Slater: awkward; thats me.

Blake: don't own anything except- WHAT THE FUCK?!

Slater: Due, no.

Blake: Are you reading this shit? They don't fucking own us. I, LIKE DOBBY AND LADY GAGA, AM A FEE BITCH!

Slater: Bitch calm your tits, yes I am reading this, no I do not agree.

Blake: AND I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN WHERE AT LEAST I KNOW I'M FREE

Ratchet: You idiots. They created you, so they own you, just like Hasbro owns us.

Slater: FUCK YOUR SHIT! Hasbro can suck my di- Oh shit! Wrench!

Blake: Now look what the fuck you did! [Nearly plows into Jazz] MOVE BITCH

Slater: [follows Blake] GET OUT THE WAY! And he wasn't even holding a wrench when I said it!

Blake: Bitch you know he can somehow magically pull a wrench out of his aft!

Ratchet: I heard that.

Blake: We are so screwed [Runs faster]

Slater: Hide behind Sunny! No one fucks with his paint; they don't wanna hear his ass afterwards!

Blake: Ratchet doesn't give a single fuck about Sunny's paint, so if Sunny doesn't kill us, Ratchet still will.

Slater: You're right.... [Looks around] The fuck should we do? Where the hell is Optimus when I actually NEED him to act like an overprotective dad?!

Blake: Again I say, we are so screwed.

Lennox: [grabs Blake and Slater's arms] why are you running?

Slater: Bitch let go! Ratchet is trying to wrench us!

Epps: What the hell y’all lil' girls do?

Blake: [Bristles] DON’T FUCKING CALL ME LITTLE BOBBY! I will fuck your shit up!

Slater: Now you've gone and pissed her off. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE ESCAPES, EPPS! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU AND WILL!

Blake: You horse cock sucking mother fucker…

Slater: [Shoves Lennox and Epps] She called you horse cock suckers, RUN BITCHES! SHIT'S BOUTTA GO DOWNNNN!

Blake: [Cocks head to the side, eye starts to twitch] Run.

Ratchet: There you are

Blake: [turns angry glare to ratchet]

Ratchet: [backs away slowly

Slater: Damn. You got that Orpik stare bitch!

Ratchet: [stops at a safe distance] Orpik?

Slater: You don't know who... How do you not... He's in the... Blake, educate this mech.

Blake: Do. Not. Tell. Me. What. To. Do.

Slater: It was a fucking suggestion, damn! [Walks away]

Ratchet: You’re behavior is that of a human with extreme mental problems

Blake: You can’t imagine the immensity of the fuck I’m not giving [walks away beginning to twitch]

Lennox: Has any one actually said the damn disclaimer?

Optimus: I am Optimus Prime. The authors only own Blake and Slater. Also, this story contains direct quotes from the Transformers live action film series.