So things have been going okay. Some moments are really hard. Time is catching up too me. I'm flat broke. No money at all. I need to be able to pay rent. I had too drop like 4 classes today due to the fact that I got so far behind there was no way I could catch up. Again Time is catching up with me. I stopped going to classes which was so stupid. I'm scared that I'm going to fail all the things...

So her I am. Sitting in the mac lab at my new college. Thinking. Thinking about what you may ask? About everything i've ever wanted. about the people I miss so freaking much. About the smiles and laughs and happy fits of joy I had all my last year. I miss the pain and the heart break and the saddness that came with all those positive things. I miss just living and being and breathing and...

I thought that this would be easy. I mean I like her and I like him. This should come so easy. I mean if you like someone then that should just be bam in your face. Instead I get so confused around them. I mean when there around i don't know what to do. i don't know what to say. I never know what to think. I really love him yet she's right there and i want her. i know that we can't be. either of...

theres so much that i wan to say but i can't. i want to cry to them and give them the biggest hug i can muster but i can't. i won't. they are just dead to me. i really wish that none of this ever happened. i wish that i could walk right up to them and say "Sorry for all of it" but i'm to stuborn to do that. i really do feel like shit for all the stuff i'm putting them through. I wan to tell them...

You Fucking ass. i can't believe this. i love him and you had to be the whore we know you are and take him. Hell you only had feelings for him after i did. We both know that you did. you did this shit on purpose. Why i don't know. I've never done anything that horrible to you. i've always been loyal and friendly and kind. I'm so done with this shit. I'm so done with you and your lame ass friend...

I see you with her and i can tell your unhappy. Sometimes I think your really happy around me. Sometimes I wish i could show you what i see. I wish I could give you my eyes so you could see how unhappy you are. Your smile brightens when shes not around. When shes there your smile turns around. When your around me and the others it feels like your happier then ever. You act normal and cool. You...

So i really wan to tell you how i feel about us. how i miss your figure in mine. We had it all. We were just about to fall even more in love then we were before. Just know that i still think of us. I want you to know that you and i are still the best of friends. at some level my love for grows every day. When it's just us i get the happiest feeling in the world knowing that you and are still...

I want to tell him how i feel. i want him to know that i still like him. Right now i'm just surpressing my feelings. I can tell you feel akward around me I can see it clear as day. I know that you want to keep your distance from me but that just isn't right. I know that you feel weird when i say your name and i feel weird saying it. I really want you to tell me how you feel and so that i can know...

So yeah, I'm not in a good spot right now. I keep trying to put a true smile on my face but all i can do is put on another lie. It seems to me that lies are what i'm best at. So far i've been lying to myself that i'm ok and i keep lying to myself that he'll ever like me. it seems like my destiny for love is nothing. There is nothing i can do right now to help me. no one seems to truly understand...

He said no. That he wouldn't be with me. that he's not that way and he doesn't want to leave his girlfriend. he just turned me down completely. How come i always fall for the sweet ones. the ones that lightin my day. the ones where nothing seems like it's going to crash and burn. Well to be honest i'm dieing right now. I want to crawl into a hole and die. I want to get lacerated 1,000,000 times...

Fuck you! You selfish Bitch! you are such a lier. You don't know anything. By the way i'm not screwing you over. You've been doing that to your self. You are such a little manipulater. You were cheating on me way before we even broke up. I know all about how you flirted all hard core with Ray at upward bound. I know it all. So when did those feelings come up huh? You are such a cheating horrible...

Well my life just to hell. I broke up with my girlfriend. I like this guy who now knows i like him. Which was supposed to be a secret. I was stupid about my feelings. Why is it that every time i put my heart out there it's get thrown back in my face only in pieces. I'm so sick of love and emotions. Why does this always happen to me. Why me? I just don't know if i can handle it again. I'm trying to...

SO JIM JUST MADE IT WORSE. HE ATTEMPTED TO HIT ME. WHICH WAS HUGELY DUMB ON HIS PART. I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT A BITCH HE'S BEING. I'M MORE PISSED THEN ANYTHING. HE WAS MESSING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND KISTYN AND WHEN I TOLD HIM TO BACK THE HELL OFF OF HER HE LUNGED AT MY HEAD. HE HELD THE BACK OF MY HEAD AND TRIED TO SLAM IT INTO A LOCKER. THEN WHEN I TOLD HIM WHAT A BITCH HE WAS HE TRIRED TO PUNCH MY...

WELL IM SO FUCKING PISSED. MY FRIEND IS SUCH A BITCH. HE SITS THERE AND FUCKS WITH MY ART WORK AND THEN HAS THE NERVE TO THINK IT'S FUNNY. TRUST ME HE HAS ANOTHER THING COMMING. I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM. ALL HE EVER DOES IS GET ON MY LAST NEREV ALL THE TIME. HE TREATS ME LIKE SHIT ALL THE TIME BUT THEN THINKS WHEN HE'S SO DESPRETE FOR FRIENDS HE CAN JUST COME TO ME LIKE WERE COOL. FUCK THAT SHIT NE...

Today has to the greatest day so far. Everyone who's posted so far thanks. It means a lot knowing that people can relate to me or likes knowing me. So keep posting and adding me as friends. I have no problem saying yes.Well i hope you guys enjoi the peom. It just came to me so yeah. Theres not much to say about me. But if you guys have any questions then just ask. I don't have anything to hide.I'm...