The struggle I've had with Happiness is no secret. We fight back and forth nearly every day never coming to any conclusion, and I can knock incessantly at his door with no reply more than the glimpse I catch as he peeks through the window to see who is there. Happiness is the friend that ignores my frantic pleas and my invites to lunch or coffee. The whole world can see that Happiness and I have...

I'm an introvert and the thought of starting a new life and meeting new people terrifies me. I lack the finesse required to carry out the necessary social overtures. I hide behind this blog and intricate metaphors most of the time. But I need to change.On Christmas my world came crashing down around me and all of the pieces I was holding together came unhinged. My friend C got engaged to a man who...

The last three months have seen me in an inexplicable rut over a relationship that hardly lasted long enough to count. I'm still in the rut, and I realized why when I was on a Tinder date a few days ago. The guy I went out for coffee with had a theory:Every person has one set of words in their mind that someone could say to them and it would make them fall in love instantly.I believe it.And J...

In their lifetime, one in six women will be the victim of a rape or an attempted rape. We're all aware that it happens, but it's one of those things we push to the back of our minds. We tell ourselves it won't happen to us or to anyone we know. We pretend that it's something that only happens to girls who put themselves into dangerous situations and we ignore the fact that 47% of rapes are...

Earlier today I watched a poetry slam where a young woman talked about her depression and how her mother didn't understand. One of her lines was "I learned to turn the angry into lonely and the lonely into busy. So when I tell you I've been busy..."I've been busy.Living with my parents these last few years has been difficult. Once upon a time they worked the same job and the same hours and they...

If I were to get into a time machine and go back three months, I'm not sure I would believe that my life could be in the shambles it is in right now. Go back a year and I'm not entirely sure I would believe it either. Go back two years, and I'd probably laugh my ass off. And that takes into consideration the fact that the last three Octobers and Novembers have left me a disheveled mess on the...

It feels like ages since I've blogged about anything. I've been relatively uninspired lately, and I've been trying to spend as much time out and away from my computer as possible. School has pushed me to my limits and I've been utterly exhausted.This semester is almost over--thank God. I don't know how much more of it I would be able to handle. I'm literally about to fail half of my classes and...

When he remembered he would wear Calvin Klein cologne. When he remembered. Most of the time he just smelled like Suave body wash and Gain detergent--the flings that came in the flowery pink container. I knew because I used the same ones. He forgot to eat, forgot to sleep, while he was studying. He could stare at an equation for hours on end, which was fine because I'd spend those hours staring at...

My eyelids have been heavy with the promise of tears most of today. I've been awake since sometime early yesterday morning and spoke to J last night. Its been over two weeks since I've seen him, which is the longest we've gone without seeing each other since we met. And I knew this would happen. That's what happens when you break up. But I just have this sinking feeling that I'm never getting past...

In all the craziness that has been my life lately, I kind of decided to say fuck everything and go on a road trip. I know it sounds bad, but I had already had these plans and rearranged my schedule to go, and then the plans fell through, so I decided to revive them. My life was crumbling to pieces and I needed to get out of my hometown for a little while.In the last week and a half my life has...

It hit me at about ten thirty this morning when I was getting ready for school. I had already missed my first class and a half because I was having a meltdown over an assignment I didn't understand. I had taken a four hour nap after being awake for forty-two hours and I was regretting wasting the time I should've been working sleeping. But it hit me when I was being overly critical of my broken...

"That's what happens," my father said to me, his eyes creasing at the corners. "That's what happens when you fall in love with someone who is exactly like you." I had known he was right and that I should have known better than to get involved with someone so much like me, but it still hurt. I sighed, ignored my father, and poured myself a shot of vodka. This was what I needed right now. "Someday...

My whole life I've operated on a system of logic rather than one of emotion. I imagine that's why I always got along with boys better than girls and my exes referred to me as the most laid back girl they knew. When empiricism rules, I don't get mad that you want to go out for a drink with the guys after a long day, or that you have to write a paper before you can see me. When empiricism rules I'm...

Usually when I write my blogs I feel like posting about the really amazing things in my life, or the terribly tragic things. Right now I have none of that. I'm numb since J broke my heart and the semester has been kicking my ass. Since I'm not feeling too much, I can't write as well as I'd like to. As it was when I was writing Uncharted I got through the parts about J and falling in love, but when...

In light of my recent break up I don't feel much like doing anything. It hurts that its over, and I'm not really letting myself entertain the idea of reconciliation, and I realize that someone will inevitably come into his life and he'll have time for a relationship. And she'll probably be tall and blonde and smart and amazing. But this is my open letter to her:1. I really don't want to tell you...

From the time I was about four I knew I was a mistake. It was kind of obvious, and it wasn’t something my parents ever tried to lie about: they got married in February and I was born six months later. I always felt like they would have been better off without me; like I was the strain in their marriage—the reason they could never really make it work. I was the reason she was an anxious mess...

Its a little after three in the morning, and anyone who has read my other blogs knows that it isn't unusual for me to be awake right now. Three in the morning was the time that I would be sitting with J. doing homework and going on coffee runs and making lists in my mind. Three in the morning was the extent of our quality time. J and I just broke up.I must have seen this coming because when I...

1. I'm the kind of girl who likes to have fun. I think dancing is best done at 6:30 AM in my underwear to "Some Kind of Wonderful" after I've done about 100 sit-ups on the living room floor. I'm the kind of girl who is always down to go shot for shot with the boys or go on a spontaneous adventure at two in the morning. 2. I'm also a bookworm, so don't forget to look past the party girl facade...

These last few weeks have been wearing on me like sandpaper. I'm pretty sure the last seven days have aged me about seven years and I don't know when I'll be able to get some decent sleep again. I'm a post-bacc student in a pre-medical program, and I'm working 30+ hours a week teaching math. All of my free time is spent on homework and there just aren't enough hours in a week for me to finish...

It has to be at least a week since the last time you shaved. I can see the short, dirty blonde sprigs of hair from across the room now. You look your age for once; maybe even older. Even though you slept I can still see the exhaustion in your bright blue eyes.I don't think I've ever told you how mesmerized I am by your eyes. They're the color blue of the ocean on a hazy summer day--the kind of day...