I've been to a funeral today. It was for a man that I barely knew (his sister-in-law is a good friend), but it's been the hardest to get through. He had a wife and a 18 month old baby girl, all sorts of potential, and family all around him. and he couldn't see how much he meant to everyone. He killed himself last week. He couldn't see how much his sister-in-law depended on him for advice, or how...

Update on how I'm recovering... as if anybody cares....I'm creepy and stalkerish. I go on her page and look at her poems and journals and pictures... I see her call someone her love, and it breaks me the way she can do that so soon. I see what she has posted on the girl's profile, and it makes me laugh.1. Love is what I always called her.2. She is telling her she will eat her. (something I always...

So, if you read my other journal, you know that my gf broke up with me, and I've had some problems with it. But I'm doing okay, I think. She keeps commenting my page, and she keeps trying to convince me that we were never right. It's her way of trying to get me over her, and herself over mel. I just wish things had turned out differently between us.From the time I asked her out, 9 months ago, I...

So, breaking up has me down, and I want to know that someone else knows what I'm going through. So I turn on my Ipod, and "In Another Life" by Madina Lake comes on. I listened to it, and realized that alot of their songs are about loss.So now I'm listening to them over and over, and I feel much better, and I think I can forgive her. I have my cousin saying all sorts of ugly things about her, but I...

What I have so far is:alonebetrayedcdead"Empty With You"f*cked overgoodbyehopelessinsanejklostmnot over youover youpqrunningstupidtied downuselessvwxy*zip*What happened is my girlfriend of 9 months as of yesterday broke up with me. We had a long description, and she decided (evidently her friend told her) that we have nothing in common and we should break up. I officially hate her friend. And I...

I'm going to get professional help from a counselor at Richland College for my... whatever it is.I asked my professor to tell me what building to go to, and what room so I can get some help... I've got like, issues with change, and issues with giving up, and issues with not being perfect, but I don't what to do anything to improve, because I don't want change. Well, I don't want some kinds of...

She brought the minister over here to tell me that.I already knew it. I already knew she hated it.But I never felt love until SHE held me as I cried.I didn't know what love was until I saw it in HER eyes.The song says "my new religion is you."I offer cards and gifts at my altar, and I think about YOU before I act, so yeah, YOU are my religion.YOU are my god Mickey. They can't stop the way I...

I look back on all of my journals and I try to remember what made me write some of those things. I'm so over dramatic!Update on Mickey: My Love, My Life. It didn't turn out as bad as I thought. Her family comes over for dinner, we hang out, hang all over each other, and mom doesn't give a shit. Unless we go into my bedroom. That is a BIG no no.] I do not understand. We even took Mickey's little...

I realized, by the end of Saturday, I have made the biggest mistake of my life. I did the worst thing I could have done, and now my heart pays for it, every time I think of her, every time I text her, everything I do, I know it was a mistake. I hope it's not to late. I hope I didn't screw up too bad to go back and apologize. I know she still loves me, but... what will she think? That I'm to...

So, I had this friend, we had only known each other for 2 years, but I knew I loved her more than anything else. Only problem is, i couldn't muster up the guts to tell her. Finally, she said something, and that something made me know I could tell her. I told her, and guess what. she loved me too.She agreed to be mine forever, and we spent the next 2 1/2 weeks in bliss... and then, the worst thing...

Alright, so I have this cousin, Jordan. She's bipolar, schizophrenic, and a compulsive liar. So on Saturday, I was hanging out with her itn the church hallway, and she was all like, "Guess what? You are related to someone who's bi!""Really? I know alot of people who are bi, trust me, one more isn't such a big deal, ok? And who would that be?"She looked at me all confused, "Me of course. Who did...

Should I feel grossed out by myself? Should I be so disgusted with myself that I beg God to help change me? Should I feel like puking when I think about myself? Should I ignore my feelings and try to live the way my closest relatives wants me to? Should I do what I have been taught is right all my life? Is everything I have been taught is right, wrong? Am I an idiot for having these feelings? Is...