So what's a live blog, you ask?
I'm doing live blogs of fics because there have been a lot of amazing ones I've read. So I'm gonna be posting my reactions as I read them because I think it'll be fun, it gives me an excuse to read these fics again and I'm also showing you that you should check out these fics as well because they're just so beautiful.
My other live blogs
Seasons
Heartbreaker
Pressing Flowers
Come and Go
Sincerely Lovesick
Tides [Pt. 1]
Tides [Pt. 2]
Tides [Pt. 3]
The Band Shippers Vigilante Coalition
Daydream
From States Away
Starry Skyline
Try to Take Us Down
Sunday
Oh
Just Hold Me
Today I'll be live blogging Jacqui's Hayliver, The Rushing of the Water. It's about Hayley's days in a psychiatric ward, suffereing from derealization, transient global amnesia, and retrograde amnesia. The only hope for helping her remember is a boy named Oliver, who's name always seems to escape her lips.
Can I just say that I really need to prepare myself for this fic. I need to get tissues, shields, protective armor, a bulletproof vest, blankets, and a cup of tea. THIS FIC HAS DONE THINGS TO ME AND NOW I'M GONNA BE LIVE BLOGGING IT AM I EVEN READY.
NONE OF THIS SHIT IS GONNA SAVE ME BUT HERE IT GOES ANYWAY.
THE RUSHING OF THE WATER
- I also want to say that the summary alone knocked me out. THE SUMMARY. HAS ALREADY GIVEN ME DAMAGE.
- And already in the first paragraph, I have the urge to give Hayley a hug. The poor girl is a mess and the way Jacqui describes her is so different from the Hayley we know and love.
- But that's what makes her story so unique. She made Hayley her own character.
- I know her hair is described as red in here, but for some reason I picture her with her blonde hair. It just makes her seem more ghost-like and more pale and broken.
- Probably also has to do with the fact that one of the songs I associate with this story is Brick By Boring Brick.
- I loved Hayley's blonde hair.
- Of all things for her to imprint in her mind, it's Oli's name. I'm so not ready for this fic. Even though I know how it ends. Just get the hospital stretcher ready. Call me Skylar Grey 'cause I NEED A DOCTOR.
- Another song I associate this story with: The Church Channel by Say Anything ft. Hayley Williams. It's about a guy in the psych ward and he sees a girl who's also in there and like...the lyrics fit.
- You all should listen to that song. It's great. If this story wasn't as emotionally damaging, it'd be like that song. Hayley and Oli would be singing, "So lay your head on me" to each other and Hayley would be in thick rimmed glasses.
- But that doesn't apply here. Still a wonderful story, though. More realistic.
- SHE'S CALLING OUT FOR YOU, OLIVER. GET HER OUT OF THERE.
- SHE'S RIPPING HER GODDAMN VOCAL CHORDS OVER YOU.
- DON'T RUIN YOUR BEAUTIFUL VOICE, HAYLEY.
- “Oliver,” her voice cracks, broken. She bolts upright, startling the nurse. There are traces of tears in her eyes, and a single track marks her dirty face. “Where is Oliver?”
- SERIOUSLY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU OLIVER CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S CRYING.
- "I WAKE UP IN A ROOM AND REALIZE I'M INSANE AGAIN" THE CHURCH CHANNEL'S LYRICS THO. I SWEAR.
- Oh, god. I've reached the part where her dad comes to see her. Time to put on all my freakin' armor and brace myself for the pain and emotions to come.
- She can't even recognize her own dad and oh my god I'm shedding tears and I can't imagine how her dad must feel because his own daughter's just trying to remember him, but she just can't. Why are you doing this to me, Jacqui. Whhyyyyyy.
- “I told you she knew me, Miss Stone!” The man’s face leaped with glee, and Hayley received a sharp slap on the arm for her false words.
“Don’t lie to him.” Macy said, staring at Hayley until she bowed her head, muttering an apology under her breath.
- She tried lying and fuck, her dad was so happy for that split second because it was a hope spot for him. FOR THAT BRIEF MOMENT HE HAD HOPE BUT THEN IT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM SO QUICKLY.
- HER DAD NEEDS A HUG, TOO.
- Once again, she's calling for Oliver. Save her, Oliver. Just save heerrrrrrrrrr.
- Cue The Church Channel playing for the thousandth time.
- *Oli comes in and sings* LAY YOUR HEAD ON ME, HAYLEY.
- *Hayley sings back* YEAH, LAY YOUR HEAD ON ME.
- If only, man. If only. *screams internally*
- I can never listen to this song the same way again. Fuck.
- Send more kleenex, Nikko. ALIYA NEEDS MORE KLEENEX.
- “I know you said things were bad, but I didn’t know they were this bad. She doesn’t even know me. Me. I’m her goddamn father!” He shouted, landing a fist down on the desk.
- RIGHT IN THE HEART. THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING A FATHER COULD GO THROUGH. THE POOR MAN JUST WANTS HIS DAUGHTER TO REMEMBER.
- “You think a boy’s going to be the answer to all her problems?” He replied doubtfully, leaning back.
- SHE SCREAMS FOR HIM. HIS NAME IS THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY COMES OUT HER MOUTH. OF COURSE HE HAS TO BE THE ANSWER. AT LEAST I WANT HIM TO BE BECAUSE YOU'RE KILLING ME OVER HERE.
- MY FEELS ARE DONE FOR. MY ARMOR IS USELESS. IT'S RUINED. THE ONLY HOPE I HAVE NOW IS THE BULLETPROOF VEST BUT THAT SHIT AIN'T GONNA WORK.
- It's the flashback part. I'm going to die. I'm hanging by a thread here. This fic is so beautiful, yet gives so much damage. My heart totally hates me right now for making it go through this again but I can't help it.
- This is the part where Brick By Boring Brick comes to mind.
- Except the Hayley in this story is the little girl with butterfly wings.
- While Jacqui's the older Hayley.
- SO BASICALLY, HAYLEY'S GONNA FALL IN A DITCH WHILE JACQUI JUST DECIDES TO KEEP HER BURIED IN THERE AND GIVE HER NOTHING BUT A DOLL.
- TAYLOR.
- I think the other two boys are Josh and Zac, but I'm not sure if I'm right.
- Are they Josh and Zac, Jacqui? Are theyyy!? I NEED TO KNOW.
- HOW MANY HUGS MUST I GIVE HAYLEY. She's been through so much in this story and I love her so much and she's going through all this trauma. JUST. SOB.
- THAT BLOOD THAT HAYLEY FOUND BELONGED TO ME AFTER THE ENDLESS STABBING OF KNIVES AND HAIL OF BULLETS THIS FIC HAS UNLEASHED UPON ME. I AM DEAD. THIS FIC HAS KILLED ME.
- ALL OVER AGAIN.
- PSH, BULLETPROOF VEST. WHAT BULLETPROOF VEST.
- I have another song for this fic: Swim in Silence by Paramore. That song is so dark and so depressing and it's pretty much this story in song form.
- I'm listening to it right now as I read the last few paragraphs of this fic.
- It's coming to the part that leaves me rolling on the floor in a pool of my own blood and tears. If anyone needs me, I'll be drowning in it.
- She's just so broken. It hurts. It hurts so much. Giving her another hug and then I'll need a hug from someone.
- I'm looking at you, Jacqui.
- And Rianne.
- And Nikko.
- I need your guys' hugs okay.
- SHE. BROUGHT. OLIVER. TO. SEE. HER.
- "HAYLEY, IT'S ME. THE GUY THAT SHOULD BE FUCKING SAVING YOU."
- CRIES SO MUCH THE TEARS HAVE FLOODED THE HOUSE.
- I'M SWIMMING IN MY TEARS.
- SWIMMING IN SILENCE.
- I WILL DROWN UNTIL YOU CARE.
- HAYLEY WILL DROWN UNTIL YOU CARE, OLI.
- Come on, Hayley, she willed, remember him.
- NOW IS YOUR CUE TO SING DESTINY'S CHILD, OLI. SING IT NOW.
- "SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME."
- “Who’s Oliver, and why is this man in my room?”
- OUCH. WHY. WOULD. YOU. DO. THAT. THAT WAS SO CRUEL AND SO HEARTBREAKING AND APPARENTLY HAYLEY'S GOING TO BE DROWNING FOREVER BECAUSE THE EMOTIONS ARE JUST SPILLING OUT OF MY POOR MUTILATED HEART. OH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE.
- Hmm, one of Jacqui's song inspirations was "All I Wanted".
- ALL I WANTED WAS YOUUU...TO SAY OLI'S NAME.
- CRYING FOREVER. DON'T TALK TO ME.
- I also want to say that the summary alone knocked me out. THE SUMMARY. HAS ALREADY GIVEN ME DAMAGE.
- And already in the first paragraph, I have the urge to give Hayley a hug. The poor girl is a mess and the way Jacqui describes her is so different from the Hayley we know and love.
- But that's what makes her story so unique. She made Hayley her own character.
- I know her hair is described as red in here, but for some reason I picture her with her blonde hair. It just makes her seem more ghost-like and more pale and broken.
- Probably also has to do with the fact that one of the songs I associate with this story is Brick By Boring Brick.
- I loved Hayley's blonde hair.
- Of all things for her to imprint in her mind, it's Oli's name. I'm so not ready for this fic. Even though I know how it ends. Just get the hospital stretcher ready. Call me Skylar Grey 'cause I NEED A DOCTOR.
- Another song I associate this story with: The Church Channel by Say Anything ft. Hayley Williams. It's about a guy in the psych ward and he sees a girl who's also in there and like...the lyrics fit.
- You all should listen to that song. It's great. If this story wasn't as emotionally damaging, it'd be like that song. Hayley and Oli would be singing, "So lay your head on me" to each other and Hayley would be in thick rimmed glasses.
- But that doesn't apply here. Still a wonderful story, though. More realistic.
- SHE'S CALLING OUT FOR YOU, OLIVER. GET HER OUT OF THERE.
- SHE'S RIPPING HER GODDAMN VOCAL CHORDS OVER YOU.
- DON'T RUIN YOUR BEAUTIFUL VOICE, HAYLEY.
- “Oliver,” her voice cracks, broken. She bolts upright, startling the nurse. There are traces of tears in her eyes, and a single track marks her dirty face. “Where is Oliver?”
- SERIOUSLY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU OLIVER CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S CRYING.
- "I WAKE UP IN A ROOM AND REALIZE I'M INSANE AGAIN" THE CHURCH CHANNEL'S LYRICS THO. I SWEAR.
- Oh, god. I've reached the part where her dad comes to see her. Time to put on all my freakin' armor and brace myself for the pain and emotions to come.
- She can't even recognize her own dad and oh my god I'm shedding tears and I can't imagine how her dad must feel because his own daughter's just trying to remember him, but she just can't. Why are you doing this to me, Jacqui. Whhyyyyyy.
- “I told you she knew me, Miss Stone!” The man’s face leaped with glee, and Hayley received a sharp slap on the arm for her false words.
“Don’t lie to him.” Macy said, staring at Hayley until she bowed her head, muttering an apology under her breath.
- She tried lying and fuck, her dad was so happy for that split second because it was a hope spot for him. FOR THAT BRIEF MOMENT HE HAD HOPE BUT THEN IT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM SO QUICKLY.
- HER DAD NEEDS A HUG, TOO.
- Once again, she's calling for Oliver. Save her, Oliver. Just save heerrrrrrrrrr.
- Cue The Church Channel playing for the thousandth time.
- *Oli comes in and sings* LAY YOUR HEAD ON ME, HAYLEY.
- *Hayley sings back* YEAH, LAY YOUR HEAD ON ME.
- If only, man. If only. *screams internally*
- I can never listen to this song the same way again. Fuck.
- Send more kleenex, Nikko. ALIYA NEEDS MORE KLEENEX.
- “I know you said things were bad, but I didn’t know they were this bad. She doesn’t even know me. Me. I’m her goddamn father!” He shouted, landing a fist down on the desk.
- RIGHT IN THE HEART. THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING A FATHER COULD GO THROUGH. THE POOR MAN JUST WANTS HIS DAUGHTER TO REMEMBER.
- “You think a boy’s going to be the answer to all her problems?” He replied doubtfully, leaning back.
- SHE SCREAMS FOR HIM. HIS NAME IS THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY COMES OUT HER MOUTH. OF COURSE HE HAS TO BE THE ANSWER. AT LEAST I WANT HIM TO BE BECAUSE YOU'RE KILLING ME OVER HERE.
- MY FEELS ARE DONE FOR. MY ARMOR IS USELESS. IT'S RUINED. THE ONLY HOPE I HAVE NOW IS THE BULLETPROOF VEST BUT THAT SHIT AIN'T GONNA WORK.
- It's the flashback part. I'm going to die. I'm hanging by a thread here. This fic is so beautiful, yet gives so much damage. My heart totally hates me right now for making it go through this again but I can't help it.
- This is the part where Brick By Boring Brick comes to mind.
- Except the Hayley in this story is the little girl with butterfly wings.
- While Jacqui's the older Hayley.
- SO BASICALLY, HAYLEY'S GONNA FALL IN A DITCH WHILE JACQUI JUST DECIDES TO KEEP HER BURIED IN THERE AND GIVE HER NOTHING BUT A DOLL.
- TAYLOR.
- I think the other two boys are Josh and Zac, but I'm not sure if I'm right.
- Are they Josh and Zac, Jacqui? Are theyyy!? I NEED TO KNOW.
- HOW MANY HUGS MUST I GIVE HAYLEY. She's been through so much in this story and I love her so much and she's going through all this trauma. JUST. SOB.
- THAT BLOOD THAT HAYLEY FOUND BELONGED TO ME AFTER THE ENDLESS STABBING OF KNIVES AND HAIL OF BULLETS THIS FIC HAS UNLEASHED UPON ME. I AM DEAD. THIS FIC HAS KILLED ME.
- ALL OVER AGAIN.
- PSH, BULLETPROOF VEST. WHAT BULLETPROOF VEST.
- I have another song for this fic: Swim in Silence by Paramore. That song is so dark and so depressing and it's pretty much this story in song form.
- I'm listening to it right now as I read the last few paragraphs of this fic.
- It's coming to the part that leaves me rolling on the floor in a pool of my own blood and tears. If anyone needs me, I'll be drowning in it.
- She's just so broken. It hurts. It hurts so much. Giving her another hug and then I'll need a hug from someone.
- I'm looking at you, Jacqui.
- And Rianne.
- And Nikko.
- I need your guys' hugs okay.
- SHE. BROUGHT. OLIVER. TO. SEE. HER.
- "HAYLEY, IT'S ME. THE GUY THAT SHOULD BE FUCKING SAVING YOU."
- CRIES SO MUCH THE TEARS HAVE FLOODED THE HOUSE.
- I'M SWIMMING IN MY TEARS.
- SWIMMING IN SILENCE.
- I WILL DROWN UNTIL YOU CARE.
- HAYLEY WILL DROWN UNTIL YOU CARE, OLI.
- Come on, Hayley, she willed, remember him.
- NOW IS YOUR CUE TO SING DESTINY'S CHILD, OLI. SING IT NOW.
- "SAY MY NAME. SAY MY NAME."
- “Who’s Oliver, and why is this man in my room?”
- OUCH. WHY. WOULD. YOU. DO. THAT. THAT WAS SO CRUEL AND SO HEARTBREAKING AND APPARENTLY HAYLEY'S GOING TO BE DROWNING FOREVER BECAUSE THE EMOTIONS ARE JUST SPILLING OUT OF MY POOR MUTILATED HEART. OH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE.
- Hmm, one of Jacqui's song inspirations was "All I Wanted".
- ALL I WANTED WAS YOUUU...TO SAY OLI'S NAME.
- CRYING FOREVER. DON'T TALK TO ME.
Terribly sorry for being an emotional wreck, but that's seriously what happens every time I read this fic. Like I said, it does things to me. In other words, Jacqui's an amazing writer and wrote something so incredible and ventured into different mental disorders and portrayed them so well. She's amazing and I applaud her for writing this. You all need to applaud her as well because she's superb and you all need to check out her other works.
Next one I'm gonna be doing is Pressing Flowers, another Hayliver from Jacqui. Except instead of damaging me, this one repairs my emotions. Basically, it'll be much happier.
Hope you enjoyed my pain. Again.
Deuces.