Seriously, like I want to stay on a kind of schedule with my story updates because it's my goal in 2015 to finish at least one story (though I'm aiming for all of them), but I started my new job and I've been working like crazy since I started. When I get home, like I just don't feel like writing, I just want to relax. And I still try to maintain a social life, too, so yeah... My life's been kinda...

I remember being at a hotel, and I was sharing the hotel with Merle (my ex) and Alicia (his cousin), but Merle and I weren't together. Not sure why we were all sharing a hotel, but I was getting really annoyed with them so I went down to the eating area and brought my laptop and chilled out there. It was a really nice, fancy hotel and I think we were on a tropical island somewhere. There was...

Okay, so my friend told me something about the guy I'm seeing that I had forgotten about until now because I was drunk when she told me. But, he dated my ex-boyfriend's mom. And his mom's a crack head. She's missing teeth. She's 30 something and acts my age. And, you know, she's my ex-boyfriend's mom.Like, I know it's in the past and it happened a little while ago and whatnot, and maybe it makes...

Seriously, why do I have to have a crush on him?Urg!I was doing really good on my own, being independent, not thinking about boys. I was doing really good! I had a couple guys on the go, actually, but I didn't like any of them. they were just boy toys, you know. I was just being a player. Then, I met him. Now, I have a typical schoolgirl crush on him and it's really. Fucking. Annoying.Like, I'm...

Like I've said in a past blog entry, I'm working really hard to make 2015 a positive year for me and to work on myself. I spent all of 2014 in a relationship, and I just think I let myself get too caught up in that other person and lost focus on what I really wanted in life. So since that ended and I've been single, I've been trying hard to focus on my needs and to improve myself. And since I...

You know, 2015 really is off to a good start. Obviously, recovery doesn't just happen over night, right? I started off the year by finally passing my road test (only took me 5 tries, no big deal) and I had a job interview today which I think went well. I'm still on EI so even if I don't get the job, it's not like a huge deal, but a job would be nice. Now that I have my license I want to buy a car,...

Before, I was so naive. So young, and innocent. I loved Nate so much, that even when I was hammered and a cute guy hit on me, I said no. Because I couldn't picture myself with anyone but him.And now it doesn't matter who I love. It doesn't matter what I feel.I've become this heartless bitch who buries all her feelings and only lives for herself. So what if I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend?...

I need to finish all the stories I started. Does anyone else have issues with finishing stories? I have so many great ideas that I get so excited about, and then never finish them. I think my whole life is just me having great ideas that never get finished. Not just stories, but everything.I want to make 2015 a good, productive year. I want to finish what I started. I'm choosing recovery, it's...

Ok, so first of all, this is going to be a very long, deep and personal blog entry because this is the only place where I can get everything off my chest and nobody knows me in real life. Opinions or something would be nice, but really I just have to let this out because it's too much for me to keep inside. Since I promised it would stay between me and him, I can't tell anyone in real life. Also,...

I can't believe that I let myself believe things changed, or that you changed. I can't believe I actually was hopefull towards the fact that you two were finally over for good. Just when things seem to finally be going good, it's like a smack in the face, saying "Nope, your life sucks and it always will," I can't believe I ever thought there was still a chance for us. Or that I even got excited...

Ok, so I kind of wanted to get a new tattoo not now because I just got one and I'm not ready anyways, but like in a couple of months. But this thought just came to me. I've had a lot of issues with drugs and I've struggled a bit with that, quit twice now, currently I've been clean for a month and I'm still working on becoming a better me. But I was thinking once I do get passed this and once I'm...

Ok, so usually I know when someone's flirting with me, I mean it's usually pretty obvious. Except that there's this guy, and he used to hate me so now it's a little confusing.A bit of background: I met him through my ex, they're best friends and also he's my best friend's brother. He hated me for a really long time because basically I embarrassed him in front of his then-girlfriend by pointing out...

I miss you.I miss you so much it hurts; it physically hurts me.I started doing drugs, you know. Pills. That shit that you told me never to do. I did it to escape the pain, to forget. I just wanted to forget. And I did for a very long time. Every time I got high, I was happy. I was so happy that I could finally be happy without you. Because without you, I felt miserable. You know you were basically...

I can’t believe I’m actually even writing this.Basically, I’m PMSing and just finished having a mental breakdown which brought me to a conclusion; I need a job. I need a job, I need my own apartment (no roommate, just me), I need to grow up.You know how when we’re kids, we get away from all the bullshit by telling ourselves that it’s ok, because someday we’ll be all grown up and...

Do you ever just wonder why guys leave pretty girls for ugly ones? Have you ever had a guy tell you that he loved you, and then found out a couple days later he was also "in love" with someone else? Didn't it hurt when she ended up being way more special to him than you ever were?I just can't get over the fact that he's with her and not me. I don't understand why she's so special and I'm not. I...

My friend Zoey slept over last night, and this morning called her mom to pick her up. Her mom was at work, so said no but then called back later and said that Nathan could pick her up instead. Nathan's my ex-boyfriend, so Zoey says "Mom, no! He can't come get me,"I didn't hear her mom, but I'm assuming she asked "Why?"To which I heard Zoey say "Because mom, that's her ex-boyfriend and he's with...

It's time to take a trip down memory lane because let's face it; there's nothing else to do and I've been feeling especially... inspired lately. Writing about my memories isn't exactly what my subconcious had in mind, I don't think, but it's what it's going to get.It's been about three months since Nathan and I broke up but it feels like it's been a year. Is it weird that I can barely remember him...

It's really easy to get us girls, if you play your cards right. Girls are very simple creatures, and it doesn't take much to make us happy. But it also doesn't take much to make us mad. When we start fights; there's a reason. Shocking, eh? All we want is for you to ask us what's wrong. And yeah, it does take a few tries. We're not going to tell you right away, because we want you to pry. When you...

Ok, so I live with my mom and her boyfriend and my brother and mom's boyfriend's two kids. Sometimes it gets very stressful... Especially every second week when Dave's (my mom's boyfriend) kids are here. Now, his oldest son Josh just turned sixteen on Valentine's day so he's about a year younger than me (I turn seventeen in two weeks). I have no problems with Josh. In fact, we barely talk. He's...

About a little more than a year ago my mom got a new boyfriend. He was really cool and nice and funny, and all in all I was very happy for her. Then, a few months ago, hey moved in together. Now, that wouldn't be so bad if it were just him, but he also has two kids. And so does she. His oldest son is just a year younger than I am, and his youngest is ten. Neither me, my mom or my brother (who's...