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Arachne in Blunderland

Growing up with a wicked stepfather, a less-than-perfect mother, typically spoiled younger sister and a plethora of stupid boys (and girls), Illeana hits the blog circuit, taking on numerous personalities.

Yes, this is an extremely long... er, story, for want of a better word.
  1. My Killing Jar
    Illeana lists ways to put er out of commission.
  2. A letter to Mikki and a Superhappyfun Day.
    Generally mesmerized by a smile from Mikki, Illeana justhas to ask...
  3. The Infamous Number Seven
    The mall is a scary place on a Friday.
  4. DANCE DANCE! (And something about misery loves me.
    Silent Tuesday...?
  5. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic/ Eric Pigors
    Triple Entry after a Silent Tuesday
  6. The Hopeless Heart Symphony Presents:
    After being grounded from the computer, Illeana rants and raves about eveything going on in her life.
  7. Sex, sex, sex and drugs and ROCK'N'ROLL... I'll ta
    Illeana describes that perfect someone.
  8. Oh my Gerard!
    An explanation of her MCR fandom.
  9. Bacon-Flavored Cheming Gum
    Opinion on blogging and bashing heads with baseball bats.
  10. Not the disco! Anywhere but the Disco!
    The nonsense continues...
  11. Zombie-flies.
    Another boy enters the frame.
  12. My Black and White 'Miss You'
    Now that she's got a man, they all start to swarm.
  13. You will die in...
    Isn't depression fun?
  14. Psycho Emo Geeks
    More MCR blahblahvblah
  15. I'm two quarters and a heart down.
    Jesus-juicing and rock with a dash o' roll.
  16. Irish Chicks Do it Better
    Saint Patrick's Day doesn't seem so fantstic at fifteen.
  17. Can You Dance Like A Hippogriff?
    So continues the waiting.
  18. Hip Hip Hooray for
    Little celebrations.
  19. Your Organic Hatred
    Lust, doubt and reassuring your boyfriend.
  20. Dancing
    Ah, existentialism!
  21. It's only over if you say...
    Several weeks later...
  22. Let's dance a little louder.
    A dichotomous thank you.
  23. If you won't stop crying, you won't see me...
    The last day of the school-year.
  24. I'm The New Cancer, Never Looked Better!
    Illie gets a hair cut... of about eleven inches.
  25. Who'd I'd Do This For Hey! Me or You?
    New boyfreind, summertime insanity.
  26. Time for a 'Bathroom Confessional'...
    Anti-suicide Speech
  27. White Horses Dragged My Lover From Me...
    The Morning after... another concert.
  28. My lover, Lucifer
    Delusional?
  29. I Want You to Want Me...
    Boy-hatred.
  30. From Outside The Hotel Narcisse
  31. Mr. Morton is the subject of the sentence!
    Activites!
  32. You're just another nail in my coffin door...
    Just when things are okay, somebody ALWAYS has to say something.
  33. We could wash down this engagement ring...
  34. Grocery Store
    I thought you were dead...
  35. I Said Jazz Hands! Not Spirit Fingers!
    Song and Dance Number
  36. Third Date
    Even though she doesn't like him, she still goes out with James...
  37. "Everything else is Vaudeville."
    Did she? Didn't she?
  38. Styrofoam Stars and Cardboard Scenery
  39. Freinds Don't Let Freinds Have Freinds.
    Oh, that Liam...
  40. Sirius-ly...
    She had NO IDEA.
  41. If Only You Were Lonely...
    A delicious rift between Illie and Bubbles.
  42. Created With Crayons
    Debut Album?
  43. Sceenie Boppers
    Friday, July 07, 2006
  44. Exene, Epiphany, and Elisabeth
    A freind's anorexia brings out Illeana's worst.
  45. Illie, you know pirates can't fly, right?
    Feeling a bit better.
  46. Grocery Store, pt. 2
    Getting a little confidence.
  47. Do you like that? Do you like that?
    Colors like a ***ed up rainbow.
  48. Dichotomies of Debutants
    A book review and a set of rules.
  49. Rated 'E' for 'Explicit'
    We're all thinking it...
  50. Late Night Phone Calls and Instant Pirate Soup
    Will...? Calling Illeana? WTF?!
  51. Gays, Rednecks, Assholes, Christians, Idiots... An
    Happy Belated Birthday//:
  52. Silent Horror Films That Shouldn't Be
    Bitch bitch bitch, I'm horny.
  53. So, you'd rather play video games than read about
    School Registration is always a fun time.
  54. And the Attacks Continue...
    Emo slums are going around like the flu...
  55. Now Watch As Her Corpse Falls To The Floor.
    Summer's ending... What did we REALLY do?
  56. An Air of Negativity About Her.
    Going to school and going out with boys. Plural.
  57. Five AM on the Bathroom Floor from the Night Befor
    An imaginary illness.
  58. Count on me for that and nothing more.
    Twenty-twenty Surgery!
  59. SEX SEX SEX!!! (Betcha noticed the title this time
    So many questions running through her head.
  60. Apologies
    Once again with the emotional upset.
  61. A Funeral Planned
    Drama-Queen plans her funeral with a dictionary in hand.
  62. Who's afraid of the big bad... Big bad nothing?
    Yet another blow-out with Daniel... You'd think she'd figure it out.
  63. I Don't Care If I Can Breathe Tonight
    Epic moments with Matthew leave her breathless... I can relate.
  64. Give You the Bomb, Blow Me Away!
    Sunday, October 01, 2006
  65. Tonight I Feel Like More
    More sexual tension with Matthew
  66. Homecoming Montage
    Junior year is so strange... (Illeana's first 'kiss[es]')
  67. Consequences of the Freak Dance Patch
    Multiple Personality Disorder.
  68. Beating you with a Lollipop stick
    Way to give up, Illie.
  69. All Hail The Evil That Is HAZLENUT!
    Taking a stand and seeing Gerard supposedly sober... Kinda pisses her off.
  70. Welcome to Anorexia's Nightmare
    Halloween costumes are oh-so empowering.
  71. Masochist.
    Girl+Boy+ Girl= very no.
  72. Die Romantic: The Search for the One
    Illeana take up a new, less frequent style.
  73. Explanation of Self
    A slightly warped opinion of Illeana...
  74. Topless: May not be suitable for children... Or ad
    SEX SCENE!
  75. Soap Opera Smile
    Poets' Showcase
  76. Nobody Puts Baby In the Corner: A Note of Venom
    Not all this again...
  77. Blue and Grey: This one's for you, Elizabeth!
    Get out of the closet! (I need to hang up my coat.)
  78. Vermillion: Slyann of the B
    Asterisk Pry Asterisk
  79. Disenchanted: It was the roar of the crowd...
    Where've you been so long?
  80. AstroZombies: Of Bob and pasta.
    Happy Birthday, Bob Bryar.
  81. Xo: What's that about 'love never wanted me'?
    Apparently, the cup IS half-empty.
  82. Heaven Help Us: Someone save me!
    All the world's a stage.
  83. Beg: See, there's this guy and he's like wow but..
    Sometimes... someone new just appears...
  84. One Last Kiss(?): It's not vainity... I am talking
    Oh, how she's a cotton candy girl.
  85. You're Not Alone: Dear Joisey...
    One graduated early... The rest stayed behind.